There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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