the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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