Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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