I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
