Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
