need another drink. this is the easiest way
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
