Im at strip club and am horny
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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