You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
