I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
