I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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