I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
