if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
