are you so shy because you have an std?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
