he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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