since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
