This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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