but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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