when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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