I have demons in me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
These tits shall not be calmed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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