Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I party with great urgency now.
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