If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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