She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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