Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
