No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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