guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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