I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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