There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
