thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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