i need an iv and a liver transplant
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Text me some of your sweat
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
