He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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