How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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