Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
