I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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