if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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