just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
