either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would fuck him just for his dog
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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