So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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