So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
