And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
