Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
