Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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