Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
