If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
