I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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