you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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