if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
