Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
