One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
