At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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