Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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