we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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