I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
