Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
